Mixed Emotions: Exploring Anxiety Triggered by Positive Pregnancy Tests

Miscarriage isn't just losing a pregnancy.

It’s losing your baby.
It’s like loosing trust in your body.
Whilst wondering why other people can do it so easily.

Let's talk about the reality of what its like falling pregnant again after loss.

If you are able to fall pregnant, friends and family may think everything is great.
But it compounds feelings of anxious loneliness.
They’re unaware that falling pregnant does not give any relief or excitement.

It doesn't always mean you will take a baby home from hospital.

Then everyday life becomes a mine field.
Too nervous to exercise.
Too numb to feel hope.
Trying so hard to reduce stress… that it creates more.

Day by day caving into the idea of thoughts having absolute power.
Could letting your fears have a voice trigger something bad?

1 in 4 women are affected by miscarriage.

Yet, so many women suffer alone.
There’s a stigma.
For family’s of all sizes.

Causes happen from low progesterone, to clotting issues.
But in most cases, the cause is chromosomal issues.
It affects women and couples of all ages.
And probability of it being an issue increases as we get older.

Egg and sperm come with a unique set of DNA.
It's like an instruction manual for making a baby.
Chromosomal issues come when there is a mistake in reading the instruction manual.
It can be inherited from parents. But often its random.

And do you know what the biggest problem is?

Finding the cause of miscarriage happens 5% of the time.
Its hard to get resolve when no one can answer your question.
No wonder falling pregnant again can leave your head spinning out of control.

Strategies my patients use to survive early pregnancy:

• Weekly scans.
• Prioritise sleep.
• Weekly acupuncture.
• Gentle movement - walking is great.
• Do more of what makes you feel good.
• Putting boundaries in place to avoid toxic people.
• Psychologist that specialises in pregnancy and loss.
• Spending more time with a friend who understands.
• Utilise health modalities that leave you feeling nurtured.
• Seek an OBGYN or care provider you trust and feel comfortable with.

If you do get acupuncture, ask your practitioner to put some press tac stickers on the ‘shenmen’ acupoint.
It’s in your ear.
My patients request more press tac sticks every acupuncture session.
It’s amazing how well it reduces anxiety.

Translated ‘shenmen’ means "spirit gate".
It’s said to connect to your heart, mind and spirit.
And considered one of the most calming points.
Shenmen provides a direct effect on your sympathetic nervous system (the part you don’t consciously control).
In my opinion its essential to early pregnancy survival!
You might like to use your finger to push on the point.

Your survival kit for pregnancy after loss could look different.
The truth is, it’s about taking each day as it comes.
Finding the support that works for YOU.
Whatever that looks like - no judgement.
There is no need to feel a certain way.

It’s pretty easy to fall into a trap of self-blame.
Wondering if that second coffee will do harm?
Should I do that pilates work out?
Am I too stressed?

I can tell you.

Stress, anxiety or negative thoughts do not cause miscarriages.

Miscarriage causes stress and anxiety.

It’s the most common misconception about miscarriage.

Well meaning friends often don’t realise that “just telling you to relax” or “try not stress” adds an extra element of responsibility.
It's like having another job you have to monitor incase you accidentally cause another miscarriage.

Of course you are going to feel anxious again when you are pregnant.

It is completely normal to worry.
I believe it is important to feel your feelings instead of burying them.
Fearing they will trigger something bad.

Because your feelings are valid and need to be heard.

You don’t always have to live a double life where you pretend everything is ok.

If you are someone who is living in anxiety of early pregnancy, feeling like you are just surviving.
Take each day as it comes.

And remember,

You are not alone.

Jaya xx